From the moment I found out I was pregnant, birth was my biggest fear. Every story I heard seemed worse than the last, and by the third trimester I was in a near-daily panic. I avoided conversations about it, changed the channel whenever a birth scene came on TV, and at night I'd catch myself imagining every worst-case scenario.
The fear of birth doesn't disappear by ignoring it — it disappears when we replace it with information and preparation.
Nurse Inês Fernandes
It was my family doctor who first told me about tokophobia — an intense fear of birth — and explained it was more common than I thought. Just knowing it had a name, and that it wasn't me being "dramatic", lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders. I started attending my appointments with a different openness and agreed to sign up for a birth preparation workshop.
At the workshop, I learned evidence-based breathing techniques, understood what actually happens in my body at each stage of labour, and practised positions that help manage pain. But the most transformative part was hearing other pregnant women share the exact same fears I had — I stopped feeling alone with that anxiety and gained a group I could speak openly with.
When the contractions started, I found myself doing exactly what I had practised: breathing deeply, calmly timing the intervals, and letting my partner know without panicking. We got to the hospital at the right moment, with the bag packed for weeks and a birth plan we had discussed with the team.
I experienced my daughter's birth present and confident — the moment that for months had been my biggest fear became the most beautiful memory I have.
Mariana S.
My daughter's birth wasn't perfect — nothing about motherhood is. There was pain, moments of doubt, and a plan that had to be adjusted halfway through. But I experienced it informed, supported and confident. If you're feeling the same fear I felt, my advice is simple: talk about it and seek specialist support. It makes all the difference.
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